Saturday, March 10, 2012

Free love and relationship advice for men who are scared of ...

Could you give us some relationship advice for men who are scared of commitment?

I can definitely talk a lot about this one.

I mean being scared of commitment is probably the one thing that stops men from wanting to get into a relationship, and I think the problem here is the way guys frame commitment. Within a relationship commitment doesn?t have to be forever, and certainly there are particular relationships that I know that I?ve been in where I?ve recognised that maybe this girl wasn?t the right girl for me forever, but it didn?t mean that she wasn?t the right girl for me for that period of my life, and that period of my personal development.

One of the very common things that I see when guys start to focus on improving their dating lives, meeting more women, having more sexual partners, etc., is that they get to that point where there?s a sort of conflict because while they really like a girl, and want to be able to commit more to her, they?re mindful that if they commit to her that?s going to close the door to other opportunities.

It could be opportunities to meet other women, to work on their dating lives, to improve their personal development experience. What I say to those guys is, firstly, each guy has to make their own decision with how they?re going to live their lives. If a dating coach was to sit there and say get into a relationship, or don?t get into a relationship, I think he?s really overstepping the boundary of what the coach-client relationship should be about. The ultimate decision must lie with you.

The first thing I would say is if you are interested in at least exploring the relationship, understand that it doesn?t have to be forever. It can almost be a ?try it on and see? experience, and that goes for the girl as well. She has to have the same freedom to be able to do that. So if you get into a relationship and it doesn?t work, then you simply both acknowledge that and just move on. At the very least you?ve given it a shot and can sleep soundly, knowing you?ve tried it.

Sometimes, from my own personal experience, I?ve given it a shot, it hasn?t worked but I?ve actually been able to come back to that relationship later on down the road and for whatever reason the timing and the way that we connect seems to have been a better fit.

Okay so, if guys do commit, it doesn?t have to be ?Forever?, and they shouldn?t pass up on the opportunity to grow a potentially good relationship because of such fears. Any other tips?

The second thing I would suggest is to encourage guys to follow their chosen path with their heart. A lot of guys try to come up with an intellectual understanding of whether they should get into a relationship or not, and from my experience the minute you start following your head and you stop following your heart, your decisions are generally going to be ones you?ll regret later on down the road.

Just ask yourself this question, ?does this path have a heart?? ?Does it feel right to me?? And if it does, be willing to explore that and know that you?re making a commitment for the time being, and over time if it?s going to work out, it?ll work out. Sometimes you have to just go with your gut feeling with these things.

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Tags: commitment fear, commitment problems, difficulty committing, Free Love Relationship Advice, free relationship advice, I'm scared of making commitments, scared of commitment

Category: Anxiety and Women, Articles, Attraction and Women, Relationship advice, Romance

Source: http://vindicarlo.com/free-love-and-relationship-advice-for-men-who-are-scared-of-commitment

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